I'm writing this because I need to process all that has happened to me in the past two years. I used to be a writer, so that is how I make sense of things. I was going to call this blog "Ignoring the Obvious," because I can't write about what I now call The Horror-- it would hurt my children too much. I will have to be satisfied with writing about how I'm feeling, and all the other things in my life. Maybe eventually I will find peace even in the partial purging of my soul.
I can say that for a year I was separated from my husband of 26 years partly because his addiction to alcohol was ruining our lives. He finally stopped drinking when he developed acute liver failure, and he had a liver transplant in March. Amazingly, we are back together again, but it's a different kind of marriage. I always say I feel like a teacup that has been dropped on the ground-- I've been glued back together, but every messy, glue-globbed crack and chip is clearly visible. I feel so broken. Life is moving along again, but I know I will never be the same. I will never be that innocent again.
For at least 6 years, family problems have been the laser-like focus of my life. I need to find Diana again. This blog is a step toward doing that.
